Waiting for my Real life to begin

I stole the title of this blog from a song by Collin Hay of whose music I've become a fan. The first time I heard it was in an episode of Scrubs. The song is sung by a woman who is on a waiting list for a heart transplant. "It's not dying I'm afraid of, it's the waiting I can't stand, I just want to know either way."

I think all of us have been through period of waiting where it feels like our true life hasn't really started yet. I know in the past I've looked at others around me and think, "They've made it, they're there, living the life they worked and waited for." Then I wonder how many of them think of their lives the same way. Would they say they've made it, or would they admit they have some unfinished business to take care of before the end?

I remember once speaking with a man in his sixties whose children were adults with spouses and children of their own. He had had a career in the military for 30 years and moved up the ranks to become an experienced and well respected officer. Now retired he confessed that he still had no idea what he wanted to be when he grew up.

I like to think that we never really "make it", because wouldn't that mean that there's nothing left to hope for? Nothing left to work and plan and achieve? My real life starts when I stop waiting and start living. When I use the days rather than endure them. You can waste your whole life waiting for better days, telling yourself that things will be different. Then you wake up and a lifetime has passed and all you can do is wish for those days back.

Any minute now my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
And I'll stand on the bow
And feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down, down, down on me

And you said,"Be still, my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in"
Don't you understand?
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin